It’s happening: 200,000 people are expected to attend the Women’s March on Washington on January 21 starting at 10 a.m. EST (and ending at 5 p.m.), one day after you-know-who is going to be crowned President of the United States of America. You might be one of them. Some recognizable names are also on the list: Katy Perry, Cher, Scarlett Johansson, America Ferrara, Chelsea Handler, Zendaya, Amy Schumer, Hari Nef, Janelle Monae and Olivia Wilde have all pledged to march or at least be involved, with Gloria Steinem and Harry Belafonte serving as honorary co-chairs.
This is a protest against different forms of discrimination, many of which we’ve all been privy to over the course of the past year—and for some of us, our entire lives. A woman named Teresa Shook, a retired lawyer and grandmother who lives in Hawaii, came up with the idea the night after the election; she created a Facebook page merely suggesting a protest. By the time she woke up the next morning, more than 10,000 respondents had pledged their attendance. Brooklyn-based fashion designer Bob Bland, of the “Nasty Woman” T-shirts, had done the same, so the two women combined forces and their joint event was born. The New Yorker is calling it “somehow controversial,” and as they point out, it shouldn’t be. Whether you’re attending, taking action in your own city, or just quietly supporting those who are going out, the march is vital, even if it ultimately accomplishes nothing but the making of a statement.
1. Something to Keep You Warm: Stüssy x Alpha N-2B Jacket
It’s going to be crazy-cold and crazy-crowded, so prepare for the elements. A camouflage parka will prepare you for combat, figuratively speaking of course, and ensure you’re somewhat cozy. This one isn’t just loosely military-inspired; it’s based off the original design of the U.S. Air Force flight jacket, and it offers “all-weather protection,” so you’ll be shielded no matter what happens out there. Alternatively, OVO x Canada Goose’s special-edition Chilliwack bomber offers a print-free take and will keep at least your top half pretty warm.
One could argue this is not the occasion to make excuses to buy overpriced clothes and accessories. But I don’t find that argument to be much fun, and besides, these boots are practical and sick. Buzzy cult brand Alyx Studio teamed up with Italian hiking boot manufacturer ROA for a pair of utilitarian-meets-high-fashion boots with a purposefully worn-in effect, pink paint splatters included. (They’re feminine, too!) Purposely clash them with Vetements x Reebok’s tube socks, out of their Spring ’17 collection, because you deserve decadent tube socks.
Images (left to right): Stüssy Alpha N-2B jacket, Alyx lace-up boots, Vetements + Reebok intarsia cotton blend socks, Under One Sky clear backpack, Stargazer Deep Space face and body paint and Fiona Apple.
3. Something to Store Your Shit: Under One Sky Clear Backpack
The march’s website firmly states “backpacks are not permitted,” unless they are totally clear (no jelly pink tints allowed!) and no larger than 17” by 12” by 6”. While understandable, it’s also inconvenient because you want to be hands-free, and fanny packs and pockets will only get you so far for such a long day on foot. This fully see-through plastic backpack is so inexpensive (that’s a nice way of saying cheap), it’s basically disposable, and it meets the criteria. Admittedly, at 12.5”, it’s half an inch higher than the march rules state, but only a desperate loser would emphasize half an inch. Like, I don’t know, someone with disproportionately small hands who really needs that extra half an inch.
4. Something to Get You in Fight Mode: Stargazer Deep Space Face and Body Paint
An event like this calls for some flair. You might as well go all out and get your war paint on. This hyper-pigmented stuff comes in a variety of neon hues and glows under a UV blacklight. Obviously, it’s made with raves and warehouse parties and not protest marches in mind, but even in the white-gray daylight of D.C. in late January, it will have an impact. Apply thick slashes under your eyes, inspired by football players’ eye black, or create a haphazard design of your own choosing. The results are opaque and long-lasting.
5. Something to Chant: Fiona Apple’s Anti-Trump Song
This isn’t so much something for you to wear as it is something for you to say. Over and over and over again. “Tiny Hands” is a one-minute chant Fiona Apple recorded with Michael Whalen and released right in time for the March on Washington. It’s also an instant classic. With one concise yet potent line, it’s also really easy to memorize: “We don’t want your tiny hands anywhere near our underpants.” The track samples the most striking moment from Trump’s leaked Access Hollywood tape, the one when he bumptiously blurts “grab ‘em by the pussy,” and uses it as the refrain to Apple’s rap.
She’s been outspoken about her disdain for Trump for months now, having already graced us with a revamp of “The Christmas Song” entitled “Trump’s Nuts Roasting On an Open Fire” and yelling, “Donald Trump, fuck you!” while performing a benefit concert for the people of Standing Rock, so this timely little gem comes as no surprise.
Street art image by Herr Nilsson.