STORIES

Dear Culturalist: Flirting with Flower Boys

December 3, 2017

Dear Culturalist,
What's the best way to flirt with a guy who loves weed? 

Here are my Top 10 suggestions for flirting with a fellow who likes to get lifted on the regular. These are listed in no particular order other than how they came to mind, but let me add that flirting is the funnest part of anything involving guys so you might as well long-game it every chance you get.

1. Learn how to roll joints with your feet, then casually do it in front of him. This one works in almost any environment from the bus to the club. Men are all super into it in my experience.

2. Grow better weed than he does. Ignore him and focus on growing the best weed you can and the largest amount possible. This way, if your flirting fails, you have great pot to comfort you and help you realize he’s not that cute.

3. Hide munchies in all of your pockets and slowly discover them in front of him. He’ll think you have all sorts of delicious hidden secrets… which sounds way creepier than intended.

4. More than anything, my advice is not to flirt just with guys who love weed. Or does ignoring count as flirting? Do that. Also, consider the fact that you could be flirting with women who love pot instead.

5. Talk about cats endlessly. Tell him about every cat you’ve ever met. Tell him every cool cat fact you’ve ever heard. Force him to look at every cat photo on your phone. Let the convo dissolve to meowing only. Some might disagree with the tactic, but it works for meow. 

6. Be super nice but like you won’t remember him in 10 seconds because you’re so stoned. I think guys like this one because they think you won’t be able to remember being mad at them for too long.

7. Wear an Adidas leisure suit jacket and spin around in a circle and undo it when your back is turned, but don't make it obvious. Make him feel like you're getting sexier the more time goes by. 

8. Smoking tricks are not overrated—it's quite the opposite actually—and they're perhaps the most impressive flirting option on this list. It's far superior to the classic move of tying a cherry stem with your tongue. 

9. Dig into your purse and let your bottle of FORIA fall out and roll across the floor. This is a variation on my article about figuring out if the dude you like is a stoner. 

10. Spend a year of your life building a cabin. It gets the guy every time, and it also works great as a combo tip for both wooing and growing (see #2 above). If all else fails, you can live in a cool cabin smoking weed in solitary bliss.

Five Femme Accounts Setting Instagram Ablaze

Dear Culturalist: Give Me Clear-Headed Highs

Dear Culturalist: The Ups and Downs of Toilet Seats

Dear Culturalist: Help Me Show Stoner Pride for Halloween

Dear Culturalist: Dad Doesn't Dig my Stoner Boyfriend

Dear Culturalist: What Are the Best Strains to Bring the Stink?

Dear Culturalist: What's Up with New York and Women's Periods?

Dear Culturalist: I Stink to High Heaven

Dear Culturalist: The A, B, Cs of Puff, Puff, Pass

Dear Culturalist: Take Me to Mushroom Mountain!

Dear Culturalist: When Do I Tell My Boyfriend I Smoke?

Dear Culturalist: How Can I Smoke Around my Parents?

Dear Culturalist: My Boyfriend Named His Bong

Dear Culturalist: Is Pot Making Me Fail College?

Dear Culturalist: How Do I Curb the Munchies?