The Culturalist

Dear Culturalist: I Wanna Be a Dope Traveler!

By Onya Ganja

Dear Culturalist: I Wanna Be a Dope Traveler!

Dear Culturalist,
My brother and I are planning on traveling to Vancouver this summer, and we both have valid medical marijuana cards in California. We don’t want to pick up in Vancouver as soon as we land—since it is legal in both places, can’t we just bring it with us?

Feels safe to assume you are filthy rich as I think only wealthy people think laws in other countries are there to subject them to inconveniences they don’t deserve. First of all, cannabis isn’t really legal in either country. Second, what you really need is advice from a good lawyer. So don’t mistake me or anything I say for legal advice, but let’s think about this for a moment.

You clearly know you can’t, or you’d just do it. If you were pretty sure you could, I believe you’d be double checking with the real authorities rather than writing me. So the real question is, do you want to get probed? I think it seems like you at least kind of do. Not that there is anything wrong with that.Your state law does nothing for you out of state, let alone across the border. The only weed that is legal in Canada is that which was grown legally with an in-limbo grow license or from a licensed producer. How are you so high to think you can smuggle cannabis into a country thanks to a laminated medical card from your dispensary in California?  

I don’t care how inconvenient picking up pot is for you. If you can’t purchase cannabis in Canada, Jah help you and know you are not ready fordoing drugs in the Great White North. You’d probably accidentally buy acid and wake up in Edmonton in blue suede shoes and tapered jogging pants, neither of which you’d remember acquiring (happened to a friend, not me). I’m not going to suggest you break laws. Here’s a random fact for you, though: Buying weed in Canada is easier than finding your medical card and explaining to a customs agent why you think they should give a shit about your state’s medical marijuana laws.

I’ve literally never been in a city in Canada that I couldn’t buy weed just by walking down a street I was strolling down anyways. Halifax, Ottawa, Peterborough, Toronto, some random small town in Alberta. Weed does feel like it is everywhere here because it is in most places, if you know where to look or can inhale deeply and follow your nose. If you aren’t capable of purchasing drugs in another country, you certainly are not ready to illegally smuggle them across any lines.

In summation, suck up the inconvenience, understand Canada doesn’t care about or honor the laws in your state and find some weed the old fashioned way. Also, don’t smoke so much you forget that customs agents have boxes of well-fitting gloves for a plethora of reasons to search many things, including your rectum.

Photos courtesy of Twitter and Flickr.


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