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Father's Day: An Over-the-Top Gift Guide for the CannaDad

By Michael A. Stusser on July 5, 2017

Amazing the number of Fathers Day Gift Guides that appear, most of which emphasize cocktails, cars, golf and slippers. Even magazines like Mental Floss, Forbes and the Ivanka Trump brand get in on the action, claiming gift guides for “every type of father.” Well, guess what? There’s another type of Dad ya didn’t hit, and so it’s high time for another puff piece: The Gift Guide for the CannaDad!

Country Club Cannabis

CannaDads come in all shapes and ages—from hipster dads in need of something to help their creativity during playtime, to fathers who got in on the parenting action late in life. (Seniors are, in fact, the fastest growing cannabis-using population.) No matter the age or political orientation, all dads like putting their feet up on weekends, and Palm Angels make super-comfy Italian-made slippers that would make Hef proud, and they come with embroidered golf leafs. 

For high society tee-time, you’ll also need the Jane West golf tees that double as one-hitters or the Pitch n’ Putt containers from Puffingtons that allow you to store your stash in a golf ball. After all, if you ARE having to spend time with a right-winger, something needs to make those 18 holes more tolerable…  

HotBox in a Hemp Car 

Don't forget to ditch the golf cart and ride the Hemp Roadster! The so-called Cannabis Car has a hemp body and is made by Renew, a Key West car designer. The high-performance roadster features a Mazda chassis and a composite shell made from interwoven industrial hemp fibers and resin that’s lighter and more durable than fiberglass. Though the green machine doesn’t run on cannabis—it uses a feel-good fuel called BioButanol—made from recycled agricultural waste, with a carbon footprint that’s 20 percent cleaner than electric cars. Currently in the prototype stage, you can get on the list for this gorgeous two-seat convertible, but you have to put down the full price: $42,000.  

Smokin’ Hot Accessories

For those of us not chowing elegant edibles or using an electronic vape, we’re in need of FIRE! Hempwick is fab, as are vintage matchbooks (hell—anything but those blowtorches the kids are dabbing with). The S.T. Dupont Prestige Collection Diamond Nights lighter is beyond belief and frankly ridiculous—which is why we’re highlighting it. Inspired by Persian architecture, the $30,000 limited edition is stunning, sophisticated, and, unlike your disposable Bic, not to be left at a friend’s house. If you’d prefer to upgrade from the $30,000 Nights edition, ya can kick it up a notch to the S.T. Dupont Prestige Collection Diamond Rain version—containing 1098 diamonds. Make it rain, bee-otch.

Who needs tobacco dip, when you can put a pinch of cannabis between your cheek and gum and get high as a kite!? Cannadips are designed as the ultimate dosing method, fast-acting and discreet. Based in the heart of Humboldt, all-natural Cannadips come in three original flavors, American, Citrus and Mint. (Sorry, but you won’t actually be able to hand your dad a dip until July, but you can always give him an IOU… along with some CannaSwag to hold him over.)

Frenchy fashion house Hermès has been making smoke accessories since Louis XVI’s head rolled into the Seine. This porcelain Hermès Mosiaque Ashtray is only $830. Priceless? Hardly! ($830) Senseless? Indeed! 

Whether it’s sweet or spicy or has hints of lavender (or Labrador), maintaining aroma and freshness for our flower requires a quality humidor. The best stash box designed for dope is the Cannador… but our over-the-top fave is the Imperiali (below). The Swiss-made Imperiali Geneve dials in constant humidity and perfect self-regulating temperature. The hand-made humidor has 2,675 components (including an internal gas lighter and tourbillion watch) and costs one million Swiss francs. How much is that, you may ask? More than you have… and since only twelve Imperialies are being made a year, forgetaboutit. 

The Imperiali comes with Cubans, but I suggest swapping ‘em out with the CannaGar, the World’s highest-end cannabis cigar! Using fine cannabis (from Seattle grower Gold Leaf), each cigar is hand-rolled and cured. Chock full of 9.5 ounces of bud, the CannaGar is then covered in three grams of rosin oil and wrapped in at least two layers of gorgeous, pure cannabis leaves. Cost? $420, of course! 

 

If we all had these bongs, we’d get along

Blackened, slimy, swamp water-filled plastic bongs are no longer how we roll. Gorgeous glass is now available at every price level from an impressive array of artists. If budget’s not an issue (make sure ya save something to buy weed), nothing’s classier than a stunning piece from the artisans at Mothership Glass.

For pure spectacle, I’m partial to the Grav Labs Menorah—an eight-bowl bubbler that can be used on Hanukkah, or any day you want to make a high holiday. 

 In the event you’re interested in the most expensive bong in history, it’s this gold-encrusted skull from Scott Deppe. This show piece runs more than $100,000, so yer gonna want to be careful with that thing… 

Coming back down to earth, a new breed of American-made ceramic pipes have sparked major interest, including individually crafted gems from Stonedware (home of the Bernie) and Summerland that would just as easily fit into a museum as your nightstand.

Counter Top 

The Cannabis Connoisseur can clear the counter of clutter and freshen the space with the CannaCloud—essentially the “Keurig of Cannabis!” Made by CannaKorp, this high-end vaporizing system uses single-smoke pods, but unlike those java machines, pours a perfect plume. The CannaCloud is cheap ($150), but they get ya with the individual cPods (at around $7 per unit), which come in various flavors including sativa, hybrid, indica and CBD only strains.

Fully automated infusers like the LEVO will soon be joining the juicer and Cuisinart on countertop. The LEVO is a sophisticated kitchen appliance that makes infused butters and oil. And while the LEVO will infuse butter with herbs and fruits and nutrients, the main purpose is to put your weed in there! Even if, like me, you couldn’t cook your way out of a paper bag, the copper LEVO will still look lovely on your countertop. 

Vape Life

For a dad who wants to go out-and-about in full stealth mode, check out the Vaped FOB, a compact vaporizer that looks exactly like a FOB that attaches to a keychain. Made for flower, the elegant mini-vape has six heat settings and, with lock and trunk-hatch buttons (that actually control the vape functions), it can sit on the counter without your mother-in-law having a clue. 

Along with sun-grown, small batch, all-organic cannabis, consumers are looking for healthier ways to inhale. The style and sophistication of top-of-the-line vaporizers like the DaVinci IQ, PAX and PuffCo fit right alongside high-tech laptops and digital devices, and avoid traditional smoke via convection heat. 

The most expensive vaporizer around ($600) was created by former NASA engineers, and while it won’t shoot you to the Moon, the Herbalizer is like having an alien in your living room. These limited edition machines are futuristic and allow users to enjoy herb in a variety of ways, including Aromatherapy, Vaportherapy and the traditional balloon method. 

Grow Your Own Ganja

For the organic gardening types who like to make their own home-brewed Kombucha, there are great grow systems for cannabis, including the Supercloset, Yofumo and BloomBox. The Leaf advertises itself as a “Plug-n-Plant” home growing system that fits into a small apartment and still leaves room for the flatscreen. With a high-tech monitoring system that puts baby monitors to shame, the Leaf supposedly handles it all: light, ventilation, even nutrient levels! The size of a mini-fridge, the Leaf only fits two plants (yielding between four and five ounces of pot). At $3,000 for the machine, that’s some spendy weed. 

If you’re super tight on space, the Root Indoor Garden is a counter-top sized gadget that can grow lettuce, tomatoes, culinary herbs… oh, and clones (or auto flowers)! The Root includes an LED grow light and a hydroponic system that infuses nutrient-rich water directly at the roots, letting you grow in as tiny a space as a micro-flat.

Of course, anyone wanting to grow their own will need a guide on gardening, so why not blow $500 on a lovely coffee-table book! Three A Light is beautifully illustrated and leads readers from seed to harvest, though, frankly, we’d save $475 and buy something from master gardener Ed Rosenthal

Home Delivery

Some of us are too lazy to get out of the house, much less grow our own ganja. Luckily, in many markets there’s home delivery! A company called Club M does subscription service, delivering a luxury box full of curated cannabis products and accessories each month. Their limited-edition gift box is the M1K, and the K stands for the cool grand a month you’ll be paying for your ganja goodies. They’ve also got $100 subscriptions if you want to dial it down a notch. The AuBox is another upscale option, with specialized categories including edibles, intimates, beauty and even pet boxes. 

End Game 

In the end, of course, you don’t need a little red convertible or $100,000 bong to make you happy. You need good cannabis and a loving community. Still, it's fun to have fancy gadgets, and my personal favorite is a vape pen called the Grasshopper. Made out of sturdy titanium, this elegant device fits inside a jacket pocket or right on top of the office desk. So show some love to your CannaDad this Father's Day, and get him something that'll make him feel high! Then take out the garbage, wash the car, go to the....

Michael A. Stusser is a documentary filmmaker and the host of Higher Ground TV. 

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