STORIES

GET Heavy Hitters

June 12, 2017

Thousands of pre-filled cartridges are flooding the cannabis market right now, yet only a handful are getting top marks across the board for craftsmanship, quality and longevity. When you want to win, you bring out your strongest players, right? Well, that’s what I did with Heavy Hitters. The company boasts “the highest THC potency” on the market, and if we’re going on user experience (of which I have plenty), they’re not even lying. These carts pack a punch.

Heavy Hitters makes their own pen to fit their cartridges, but any 510-thread pen will work for both their gram and double-gram sizes. Yes, you read that right—they make a 2.2g cartridge that lasts twice as long and hits twice as hard as typical gram carts. At first it feels a wee bit like a Harry Potter wand as you guide this unusually large object towards your mouth (get your mind out of the gutter), then you hit it and the anticipated extra inhale is quickly deemed unnecessary: This thing hits smoother than a muh-fuh. And the taste? Terpene Tornado in your mouth. Their strain names correlate exactly to the smell and taste of their solventless oils, which dissipate as quickly as any vapor would despite the extra amount. If you’ve got tank lungs and always feel short-changed by your typical carts, these bad boys are your new buddies.

I looked up all the strains they offer in their cartridges and was mesmerized—they have like 20 strains! They carry classics like Blue Dream and Girl Scout Cookies, as well as some rarer strains like Northern Lights and Pineapple Express. I had the Skywalker OG, which, as you know, takes you to a galaxy far, far away, and I was pleasantly surprised that I did not encounter any leakage on the cart, headache after the high went away, cloying in my throat or coughing from weird solvents that were cut in to mask other weird solvents. The medicine is clean, terp-alicious and will get you high faster than a joint or bowl. Plus, it’s discreet as hell. Even the double-sized cartridge still looks like an e-cig or pen (or wand) and fits in your pocket easy peasy. If you’re like me and are constantly asked for a hit from your vape, carrying around the 2.2g cart will ensure you never find yourself driving home alone from a party with an empty weed pen. There’s almost nothing sadder than that.

Heavy Hitters recently released a new product called the Quattro which houses four different oils for you to choose from, in case you wanted your mind blown. This company is staying on the cutting, nay, bleeding edge of oil-cartridge technology, and I personally cannot wait to see what they do next. Now please excuse me while I avada kedavra some more of this Skywalker OG 2.2g cart. 

Adrienne Airhart is a Los Angeles-based comedian. Follow her @craydrienne.

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