By now you’re aware of the myriad ways in which to ingest cannabis, and you know that your body reacts differently to each method of consumption. Smoking a joint isn’t the same as eating an edible, nor is it like applying a topical. For example, eating a cannabis edible produces a different THC structure with a higher psychedelic effect (hell yeah, dude). Just to trip you up, we’ve brought a new contender into the ring: transdermal patches. Previously used as nicotine-dispensing aids to help people quit smoking, these patches have come a long way, baby, and they’re taking the professional level of cannabis from dreadlocks and linen pants to business casual chic.
MüV is a forerunner in the cannabis industry, creating products like body butters, lotions, cartridges and concentrates, and it upped the patch game considerably with their consistent, quality medicines. Both THC and CBD patches come dosed in 50mg increments as well as a 25mg 1:1 CBD/THC hybrid, filling shelves in dispensaries where cannabis is legal. Keep in mind that, if 50mg seems like too much, you can always cut these patches into quarters, or even eighths, until you’ve discovered your ideal dosage. They should be slapped right on a big ol’ vein in your body, like on your wrist or your rib cage—just be sure to clean the area first so it doesn’t mess with the adhesive.
I put my THC patch on my wrist because I’m open about my usage (and nobody cares what I do), and I started to feel the effects after about a half hour. I’d cut mine into quarters (ya’ll know I can’t handle that much edible-style cannabis), and the dosage was perfect. It kept me at a mid-level goof for about eight strong hours before I passed out, having vivid but not scary dreams: you know, colors and swirls and whatnot. When I woke up, I didn’t have that NyQuil-like hangover that hits you the next day after you dab too hard or eat too many milligrams, yet it made me sleep harder than three glasses of wine. That’s like dead-to-the-world-level hard. It did make me thirsty, as it's wont, but I was able to climb out of slumber long enough to accommodate and go back to sleep. It wasn’t that heavy.
The CBD patch was, as you’d expect, much more chill since it has no psychoactive effects, and the blissful calm that accompanied that magic little square was something to write home about. Literally. I wrote my mom about it and told her I was getting her some for her back. It doesn’t need to be localized to take effect, but wherever you put it gets the strongest dose, so place it where you hurt.
You can keep the patch on for 12 hours as it will slowly dose out its medicine during that time frame. You can leave it on longer, though, just take it off eventually so you don’t have a sticker patch stuck to you when you’re at work. Because companies like MüV are proving that cannabis is getting chic, professional, medicinal and convenient. Pop one on and feel the sneaky effects of cannabis love thrilling you for an entire third of a day.
Adrienne Airhart is a Los Angeles-based comedian. Follow her @craydrienne.