Not everyone knows this particular thrill first-hand, but few things in life are more satisfying than successfully crashing a wedding. It’s a rush akin to crashing a bar mitzvah. There’s nothing like it! You’ve got to do it classy or else the guests who are actually supposed to be there will catch on quick, and you won’t even make it until a rendition of “Shout” comes on. Or God forbid, the “Macarena.” Dress to impress, and more importantly, convince and go on the charm offensive. Let’s class things up a bit, shall we? There is, after all, nothing classier than attending a party you’re not invited to, drinking booze you didn’t pay for and dancing with someone else’s grandmother.
1. Apa Beauty White Duo Breakthrough Tooth Whitening System: The first thing you’ll need is a smile! Make sure you’re flashing pearly whites that are actually white. This kit comes with a portable pen for on-the-go touch-ups.
2. Charlotte Tilbury Unisex Healthy Glow All-Year Hydrating Summer Tint Moisturizer: Who doesn’t want a healthy glow? Just because everyone will be looking at the bride, which works in your favor, doesn’t mean you shouldn’t look radiant as ever. Tilbury’s formula has naturally tanning pigments that meld with your skin.
3. Défoncé Chocolatier Vanilla Chocolate Bar: White wedding, white chocolate—and this chocolate isn’t just infused with vanilla beans. Made to taste like a vanilla milkshake, it’s also infused with 180mg of THC so you can float on through the evening.
4. Head Porter Ziggy Card Case: A super-slim wallet is handy for all those cards that have a name on them that you may or may not be using tonight. Speaking of which, keep things vague and keep the conversation moving.
5. Are You Am I Custom Lighter Case: Got a light? Of course you do! You’re that helpful person. Stash yours in a gilded case that’s custom etched with the word, name or letters of your choosing.
6. Connor XOXO Skull Folded Notecard: Skulls and love: If you show up with a festive card in hand, you’ll be received more warmly. Scrawl something thoroughly illegible on the inside and place it ever so gingerly with the other gifts.
7. Raised by Wolves Fuck Off Ring: Wearing a wedding band of your own will make you even less suspicious—it’s all in the details. This ring has its own special detail, if you haven’t already noticed.
8. Lanvin Silk Satin-Trim Wool Tuxedo Suit: When it comes to crashing any kind of party, looking the part is all-important, so break out a high-class suit that will blend in at a black-tie affair and last you a lifetime.
9. Church’s Consul Leather Oxford Shoes: The same goes for your shoes. A classic pair of of black leather oxfords is the kind of shoe you need to walk the wedding guest walk.
10. Bamford Grooming Department BGD Shave Oil: If you’re going for a clean shave, make it an especially good one with this hydrating blend of omega-filled blackcurrant, Echium and borage oils.
11. Oribe Lip Lust Creme Lipstick in The Red: Oribe’s (yes, of the epic hair products) formula is highly luxurious, while a blue-based red makes your teeth look whiter and your smile even brighter.
12. Kotur Espey Natural Snakeskin Clutch: Pack light and get handsy with a slim rectangular box clutch in neutral elaphe skin. Break out the chain strap when you need to hit the dance floor—or double-fist some champagne before you make a run for it.
13. Reformation Tropica Dress: An off-the-shoulder fit-and-flare cut says “cocktail.” An ankle-skimming length says “evening.” And a tropical floral pattern says “party time.” All bases are covered.
14. Stuart Weitzman The Sohot Sandal: When you’re standing—and possibly sprinting—around in heels all night, comfort is a prerequisite, but so is height. A pumped-up update on the brand’s insanely popular Nudist sandal, this pitch-perfect style is the right move.