For better or worse, the proliferation of open offices, coworking spaces and technology has changed the way the modern workplace looks. But now that private offices and cubicles are no longer de rigueur, the aesthetic of the old-school corporate office has never been more appealing. Now that you can wear whatever you want to work, it’s more subversive to look like you work at Goldman Sachs circa '85. Now that you have a notes section in your smartphone, it’s comforting to occasionally jot something down on a yellow notepad. In 2018, one can partake in the visually satisfying aspects of corporate life without experiencing the reality of it. And thank God for that because those places drug test you.
1. Fundamental Berlin Kugel Ashtray: Unfortunately, smoking in the workplace is no longer socially acceptable. However, this hefty marble ashtray can also double as a catch-all for less controversial items like paper clips and pocket change.
2. Alexa Chung Pinstripe Slit Front Pencil Skirt: Celebrity fashion lines should typically be avoided, but Alexa Chung has proven that she does indeed have a distinctive point of view. This pencil skirt is more corporate than it is Coachella—and that’s a good thing.
3. Tsubota Pearl Latitude Clear Lighter: Lighting a blunt looks infinitely cooler when you use a lighter that wasn’t purchased at gas station.
4. Tokyo Smoke “Smoke Break” Rolling Papers: Again, using rolling papers that were not purchased at a gas station or convenience store is a total power move. Five bucks will buy you 40 papers and some nice typography. Go for it.
5. ban.do The Boss Mug: Being a boss is more than a title, it’s a state of mind. And this mug serves as a daily reminder that you are in control of your destiny. For the most part, anyway.
6. Raf Simons Drugs iPhone Case: Is spending upwards of $500 on a leather iPhone case a really bad idea? Or is it such a bad idea that it’s actually a good idea? Either way, Raf Simons’ homage to an extremely obscure play from the mid-eighties is the coolest way to protect your smartphone.
8. Hay Scissors: Office supplies don’t have to be drab looking. And thanks to the Danish design studio Hay, they don’t have to be expensive either.
9. Network Digital Rental: Sidney Lumet’s 1976 opus Network provides a timeless look at office culture, as well as a harrowing preview of today’s volatile cable news landscape.
10. Lord Jones CBD Gumdrops: Nothing takes the edge off an irritating workday quite like a Lord Jones CBD gumdrop. And since they don’t actually get you high, you can’t be fired.
11. Monograph Spiral Notebook: Writing in a notebook may be antiquated, but it’s a surprisingly therapeutic practice in the digital age. Or you can just leave it sitting on your desk for the aesthetic.
12. Warby Parker Scout Sunglasses: Shield your bloodshot eyes from your colleagues with these sleek and affordable sunglasses from Warby Parker.
13. Prada Black Triangle Logo Tie: You can always find good ties on the cheap, but having a couple really nice ones for special occasions is crucial. And this one from Prada will never, ever go out of style.