STORIES

Prohibition Is Literally a Pain in the Ass

April 5, 2018

Prohibition has always been a pain in the ass, but a new Mayo Clinic study suggests it also prevents people from treating the pain in their asses. 

The Inflammatory Bowel Diseases journal (yes, that's a real title) looked at patients ages 18 years and older who suffered from extensive ulcerative colitis, a.k.a. inflammation and sores in the colon and rectum. Over a 10-week period, the patients received either CBD-rich botanical or placebo capsules to treat the condition. 

The results? The CBD extract appeared to be "beneficial" overall. Per the researchers, "Analysis of total and partial Mayo scores favored CBD-rich botanical extract. Additionally, [per-protocol] analyses of the more subjective physician's global assessment of illness severity, subject global impression of change, and patient-reported quality-of-life outcomes were improved for patients taking CBD-rich botanical extract."

Some CBD-treated patients did experience mild or moderate adverse events, but the placebo accounted for "a greater proportion" of the gastrointestinal-related problems and ulcerative colitis worsening. So yes, cannabis could play a role in providing rectal relief, but possession of CBD cream is still a federal crime, and prison certainly qualifies as a severe adverse event, especially for those with preexisting pain in what doctors call the intergluteal cleft. 

So if you want legal CBD to treat the discomfort in your ass, we must first get rid of the bureaucratic assholes in government who still support prohibition.  

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