Orgasms, who doesn’t need more of them in their lives? The longer I’m alive, the more I’m convinced that we predominantly live to fuck, pursue fuck-worthy candidates and make enough commodity for others to deem us “fuckable.” Sadly, the pleasure of a fantasy will never hold a candle to the power of a full-on sexual experience. The act of sex, even the most comical editions, is by nature one that needs to be explored without inhibition or ego. It is an experience that you must let enrapture you, and sometimes getting to that emotional state can be a bit of a tough point amongst the mundane drain that is real life. However, when you choose to invite in cannabis as a special guest, things can potentially get interesting. Cannabis can bring that enabling force to a new place where sexual acts can be explored in a pure, uninhibited way (a.k.a. real potential for more and better orgasms).
Why is it that sex and cannabis have laid side by side for so long? It seems there’s some spiritual understanding on the corporeal level that can be unveiled through elevated coitus. We’re all sexual creatures behind closed doors, but for some, it may take more of an occasion or coercing to let that freak flag fly. Despite sexual orientation and age, many everyday people across the board cite utilizing cannabis as an aphrodisiac and mood enhancer. In order to readily perform sexual action, one needs to drift into the perfect balance of attraction and arousal, which is inherent in the juju of what cannabis offers our bodies. That oneness of mind and body works wonders. For many, cannabis allows them to shed emotional and mental dispositions that are a byproduct of everyday life.
One married, thirty-something wife and mother I spoke to was quick to note that cannabis saved her sex life post childbirth. She had reached the point where daily exhaustion got the best of her libido. To combat this, the couple let smoking cannabis before sex become a new ritual. The activity became something that was spicy and borderline naughty, allowing them to re-connect in a way they hadn’t as a couple since their pre-nursing and diaper-changing days. The escapism and concentration found through cannabis plus sex allowed two people to escape the minutiae of everyday life (and we all know there’s plenty of it to go around) and be in the moment. With sensitivity both heightened and subdued when you’re lifted, there is more of an openness emotionally to enhance the pleasurable and brush away the negative.
Another couple in the same age bracket had a different experience. The wife enjoyed the escapism and multiple orgasmic abilities weed brought to their bedroom, but the husband was not as consistently enthusiastic. He cited “over-thinking” as a big deterrent to coupling the two, which inherently detracted from his sexual experience. For others, it is the only way to connect without inhibitions. When I spoke to a woman on the lesbian side of the equation, she noted that she “couldn’t take a sip of a drink to loosen her up before sex,” but incorporating cannabis was her go-to mechanism. In both cases, cannabis administered trickery of the mind to get both parties where they needed to go mentally. Each experience is a mix of current emotional state, the strain which you utilize and current physical health. Gloriously, each person has the ability to sway the type of experience and outcome they have with their own mind power. Finding the perfect stasis when in that mindset is something we must consciously train ourselves to remember and practice.
We must also train ourselves with sex-positive mantras. Breathe, be conscious of feeling the “here and now,” experience the moment and do your best not to pull away because the pot of gold is right on the other side if you just hold on. Learning to enjoy the overwhelming pleasure it brings can be a lesson all in itself.
If so many people across the spectrum can tap into the beauty of elevated sex, how can you best optimize your next experience? The following are some key things to watch for.
Connect your mind with your body
This seems pretty simple, but when surrounded by so many stimulating factors, it’s inevitable that you will get distracted. Try to close your eyes when jumping into the act and really focus on resetting, clearing and opening your mind and its connection with your body. Breathing deep can also help center you and your thoughts. Of course, don’t forget that there’s someone else there, too!
Dry mouth = potentially dry in other places
Keep plenty of water and lube on hand for comfort. It’s hard to go to Fantasyland willingly when you’re shriveling like a raisin and the pain takes over. Dry mouth can stake claim on other orifices and create awkwardness all around in a sexual situation, so try to avoid it at all costs with readily available aids.
Create the right atmosphere
Whether it’s a shitty, cluttered side room where you can get in a hot and bothered quickie, or a pimp daddy bed decorated with all the booty fixins where you put in a marathon performance, make sure to come correct. Give thought to the world you’re creating for yourself while lifted and horny, then paint the best landscape to get to work.
Put together the right soundtrack
Music is life, so it’s no shocker that music weighs in as one of the most important elements to our existence. The right song sets the soundtrack, and if you want to lure in the prey, choose wisely. Create a go-to booty playlist that can be modified for various listeners (for all you hoes in these streets courting multiples) or cue up one main playlist of tunes that can get any potential mate in the mood.
Likewise, the following are some new things to try when hooking up while elevated.
Explore different strains of cannabis!
Given their botanical nature, indica strains generally do well for sexy times. They mellow out both your body and mind, allowing your mind and spirit to explore more than what currently meets the eye. Hybrids are also a great option, funneling your concentration on the here and now but also keeping you alert and present. Experimenting with strain varieties will help lead you to the one that best suits your sexual needs and limitations, though we recommend skipping the Grandpa's Breath and all the Cheese strains because the smell might make foreplay less appetizing.
Throw a porn party
On more than one occasion, I accidentally opened a screen on my cellphone browser that popped up to a bookmarked screen of porn I had been watching when I was lifted (don't judge me) while directly in the presence of my boyfriend. Literally, one of the truest of relationship faux pas but inherently hysterical nonetheless. Visually exploring situations like these while elevated will help you to spiritually come together uninhibited and allow you to be more open about your sexual desires, preferences and closet behaviors. If you’re going to watch adult videos, why not take the journey together and see where it takes you? Pro tip: Ladies, if your guy tends to get paranoid when stoned, do not let the words "size," "huge" or "whoa" come out of your mouth during the porn party.
Experiment with your levels of sexual aggression
Some people like a mild love tap, others prefer a more “smack my bitch up” approach to sex. It is possible to indulge in some of those heavier-handed fantasies stone sober, but exploring this territory while lifted can help you center the pain/pleasure mix and emotionally understand it. What is your threshold for pleasure? What is it for pain? When the immediate sting of pain isn’t as apparent, you can really dig deeper into the meaning behind the effects and why they turn you on.
Goldfinger x Pussy Galore
The first sexual experience for most young people involves fumbling around aimlessly in a ménage à uno, but a good adult rub down session after a joint can still be a real rewarding treat. For women, it takes many years to truly understand the anatomy and reactivity of that region. Truthfully, some never master working with it. Putting yourself in the mindstate to hone in on those skills, it can be anyone’s game to win with a little time and concentration. Smoke one down, start slow and concentrated, and then work off the emotional clues.
Practice makes perfect, so get to work!